This should be a life tip rather than just a Flamenco tip! We all want to be confident, right? And yet we're all so terribly fallible. So terribly human. There aren't many of us who feel confident all the time. And even if you are absolutely amazing at something, it doesn't necessarily mean that confidence will follow. So, what's the alternative? Paraphrasing Aristotle, you're going to need to Fake it until you Make it!
Okay, Aristotle actually said that to be virtuous one must act as a virtuous person would act. So if you want to be confident you need to act confident. Simple right?
Well if it was, everybody would do it. But let's simplify things a little. Let's start with putting a stop to tormenting ourselves over every little detail. If you've ever performed in public you will have made a mistake. And yes, people notice - but only if you let them. If you cringe every time you make a mistake people notice. Not the mistake, the cringe. Even if you do everything perfectly, if you dance as is you're unsure, your audience will automatically think that you don't really know what you're doing. They subconsciously read your body language and make a judgement based on that, not the performance itself. But if you act confident? Nobody will even consider the possibility that you might make a mistake or forget a part of the choreography ‑ they will just assume everything is going perfectly! Hell, I've fallen off a stage (thankfully only 10cm high) and nobody noticed because I didn't break my step and I didn't let it show on my face!
So it's time to start practicing being confident. Yes, practice. You wouldn't expect to pick up a complicated dance step after just one try, this is a major psychological change - you're going to need to practice it. The best way is to work from the outside in. Posture is key - shoulders back and shoulder blades low in your back. Chin up. Just standing like this can help us feel more confident, plus good posture is great for your dance technique. It's a win-win situation! Breathe deeply and look people in the eye. Smile.
This isn't a quick fix, you're going to have to work on it for the rest of your life. But maybe, just maybe, if you can convince other people you might end up convincing yourself!